Sobby

Why I want to punch Bono in the face!

Image taken from Google Images

Hmm… where do I begin.

1. “MUSIC”. First and foremost, Bono is a musician and should therefore be judged as one. In short, Bono fronts one of the most overrated bands in the history of modern music.

The Joshua Tree was OKAY because it marked a coming of age and move away from trying to sound as hip as great post-punk bands that will never get their just deserves, (The Edge, original? Keith Levene might have a thing or two to say about that). U2 embraced their inner arena rock, which puts them more in line with Journey than Joy Division, The Fall, Talking Heads and so on, if you ask me. And their studio catalogue post-Zooropa has been absolute garbage but it still floods TV and radio. (Why, Brian Eno, why? *sniff*). Gotta love the muscle of a monopolised industry which can make absolutely anything popular.

2. PREACHING ROCKSTAR. Bono, please don’t use one of your sold-out shows as an opportunity to push your world-poverty agenda.

People come to enjoy the show, not to be reminded that they’re not doing enough to save the poor from dying on a daily basis.

If you caught U2 on their Vertigo Tour, you would’ve been lucky enough to experience the following words uttered by Bono as he held the audience in total silence: “Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies …” A voice from the near front at a Glasgow show decided pierce the silence: “Well, fucken’ stop doin’ it then,” he said. IN YOUR FACE, BONO!

3. HYPOCRISY. So, Bono helps by pouring money into Africa and raising awareness about poverty, right? WRONG!

The Tax Justice Network says:

“Bono participates in the worldwide offshore tax-evasion system that is to a large extent responsible for the poverty of Africa… The African Union says tax dodging by foreign companies costs it $150 billion a year – three times what it receives in aid.”

I guess hypocrisy comes hand in hand with amassing hundreds of millions in personal wealth; but what is the point of the self promotion when you end up having endowed investments in businesses that contribute to the very ills that you are apparently trying to correct. Let’s not also forget he owns a private jet and half a dozen luxury houses worldwide.

He’s also snuggled up with President Bush.

Image taken from Google Images

And if you think it’s just him doing it all in name of poverty and he doesn’t actually respect Bush, think again. In 2006, Bono backed the video game, “Mercenaries 2: World in Flames”, that promoted the destruction of Venezuela and the overtaking of their oil industry. Bono’s investment company, Elevation Partners, has invested $300 million into Pandemic Studios which is responsible for manufacturing the game. Venezuela, under Hugo Chavez, has made real strides to eradicate poverty and oppression but is hated by the US for opposing their domination of Latin America and the Middle East. “Make poverty history”? Yeah, riiight.

4. BLASPHEMY. Bono compares Brown and Blair to Lennon and McCartney.

Please refrain from speaking about real musicians, Yoko Bono. Kthanxbye.

5. Last but certainly not least, his SUNGLASSES.

They simply the most awful and annoying fashion accessory I have ever laid my eyes on. And they apparently fetch upwards of $5000 a pair. The thing about Bono; he is possibly the uncoolest rockstar alive and tries to disguise this fact with lame sunglasses and dark, loose-fitted clothing. Seriously, Donny Osmond is cooler because at least he doesn’t try nearly as hard.

Bono, the man of the hour… of every hour, of every day since I can remember anything about popular culture. With a new U2 album on the way set to be the best ever (Bono’s words, not mine), I’ve braced myself for yet another Bono overdose. (Why, Brian Eno, Why??? *sniff*). As for poverty and world issues, it’ll be interesting to see what he can drone up this time. We can only hope that the average citizen who becomes aware of the African problem via Bono’s misdirected agenda can actually take steps in the positive direction. The Australian satirical newspaper The Chaser put it brilliantly:

“For many years, my people and I have felt ignored,” said Eric Mbeke, 13, of Ethiopia, with what later proved to be his last breaths. “But now that Bono has taken up our cause, we know that not everyone is ignoring us, just the people who are in a position to do something about it.”